So several months ago I wrote a rather rambling introductory post, in the optimistic hope that I would add to it on a semi-regular basis. I then followed the time-honoured lead of half-hearted bloggers across the internet and failed to write anything for the next five months.

Which is sad as it probably would have helped. I've developed Depression and am just beginning a course of medication and counselling. When I was younger I'd automatically turn to writing to get feelings off my chest, resulting in many notebooks full of 'Arghh! Why can't I just fight dragons in real life; it'd be so much easier than this!' and the like. It's a habit that definitely fell off before university, and since then I've been filled with an ever-increasing doubt in words and my ability to use them. Darn you twentieth-century linguistic theory!

Words still seem problematic at the moment, but I have to make some attempt to try and explain what's going on in this head of mine. It unnerves me that Depression has made it difficult to understand what's going on in my own mind; not that I've always made sense to myself, but at least I'm at liberty to try and attempt to understand. Now it's often too cloudy and muddled to even start.

Not that I'm expecting to suddenly find the solution to everything through this, but just the act of trying to put a post together and working on it is probably a useful habit for me to form, even if the posts themselves are complete drivel. If I find some way to coherently express what I'm going through even better, but if not then no harm done.

I'm actually not stuck at home with nothing to do, it feels like there's an awful lot of stuff that I should be working on, but at the same time I haven't yet managed to work structure into my daily routine. So at the moment I can see no obvious format for how posts will work either, they could literally be about anything for a while, with the vague hope they'll take a clearer form over time. 

                               Life seems mostly on hold right now