All the small things

There's been a marked difference recently in my mood levels. My general mental state at the moment is one of default happiness, and depressive symptoms are unusual rather than a constant. In fact at some points I've been feeling so full of life that it's slightly worried some of my housemates, prompting questions such as 'Is this a good kind of manic or a bad one?'. Amusingly I don't even feel like I'm verging into manic, just a fairly normal state of excitement for me when I'm not depressed.

I'm not sure whether it's the antidepressants kicking in or just that things seem a bit easier to cope with at the moment, but either way I'm not complaining. It's so good to feel like laughing and dancing, to be able to recognise some of the lovely things in life without having to force myself. I keep describing it as like the way that the first summery days of spring make you realise how much you missed the sunshine without knowing it, the strange newness of something old and familiar. I'm experiencing the repeated realisation that what feels like a rush of positivity, excitement and appreciation is actually just my 'normal' state of mind, albeit on a good day.

I don't want to try and squeeze out a long-winded post when I'm mostly just enjoying appreciating things. So I'll just keep doing that instead.

Things I'm thankful for at the moment;

• Sunshine
• Having a clear enough head to think about things
• I'm sleeping at nights
• That I'm at default a positive person
• The sound of rain outside my window
• The bluebells and blossom in our usually empty garden
• The fun of creating something new
• Dressing gowns
• The comfort of a hot shower on a cold night
• Songs that make you want to dance
• Costa gingerbread lattes, especially massimo size cups with the two handles
• That I'm waking up in the mornings
• My bedroom no longer feeling like a place I'm stuck in, but somewhere I can be
• The rush of wind around the house when it's breezy

And because you really can't hear that phrase without thinking of it....

 

NA NA NA NA NA NAA NA NA NA NAAAAAA!!